Rethinking New Year’s Resolutions
As we approach 2024, the tradition of setting New Year's Resolutions can be both inspiring and overwhelming. From social media feeds filled with ambitious goals to conversations buzzing with self-improvement plans, the pressure to join the resolution bandwagon can be intense.
As a therapist specializing in trauma recovery, I've witnessed the emotional toll this tradition can take on individuals. In this blog post, let's explore the positive and negative impacts that New Year’s Resolutions can have on our well-being and discuss a more compassionate approach to personal growth.
The Overwhelming Nature of New Year's Resolutions
It's not uncommon to feel overwhelmed or discouraged by New Year's Resolutions. Seeing friends and family set ambitious goals might leave you wondering if you should be doing the same. Perhaps you've experienced the cycle of setting resolutions in the past, only to find yourself unable to follow through, leading to negative self-talk and feelings of failure. The pressure to conform to this tradition can be detrimental to your mental health, and it's crucial to recognize that it's okay not to follow the crowd.
Letting Go of Unrealistic Expectations
Setting unrealistic resolutions often sets the stage for disappointment. The all-or-nothing mentality that accompanies lofty goals can contribute to a cycle of self-blame and erode self-esteem. If you find yourself thinking, "Why bother?" or feeling defeated before the year even begins, it's a sign that a more compassionate and realistic approach is needed.
It's time to let go of the pressure associated with setting unrealistic resolutions. Acknowledge that the traditional approach to New Year's Resolutions may not align with your personal growth journey. It's perfectly okay not to set resolutions or to set small goals that prioritize your mental and emotional well-being over external expectations.
Setting Realistic Goals: A Compassionate Alternative
Rather than crumbling under the pressure of grand resolutions, consider setting realistic and achievable goals that feel authentic to you.
Here are some ideas for a more gentle approach to New Year’s Resolutions:
Reflect on Personal Values: Begin by reflecting on your core values and what truly matters to you. Align your goals with these values to create a sense of purpose and fulfillment.
Break Down Larger Goals: If you have significant aspirations, break them down into smaller, manageable steps. This approach allows you to celebrate incremental successes and maintain motivation over time.
For example, maybe your goal is to go gluten-free, but this feels very overwhelming. So, you start with gluten-free breakfasts for a few months, then add in gluten-free lunches, and eventually dinners.
Set Process-Oriented Goals: Shift the focus from outcome-based goals to process-oriented goals. Instead of fixating on the end result, appreciate the personal growth and learning that come with the journey.
For example, instead of setting a goal to “be healthier,” you set small goals that celebrate the process of developing a healthier lifestyle — cooking healthier meals, reading articles about supplements and super foods, and taking a short walk each day.
Prioritize Self-Compassion: Cultivate self-compassion by acknowledging that setbacks are a natural part of any journey. Treat yourself with the kindness and understanding you would extend to a friend.
“What Will Bring Me Joy?”
As you contemplate your aspirations for the coming year, make sure your goals foster peace, healing, and joy. At a time when stress levels in our world are so high, we must create space to give ourselves a break.
Prioritize Self-Care: Commit to regular self-care practices that nurture your physical, emotional, and mental well-being.
Cultivate Connection: Foster meaningful connections with friends, family, or a support network. Investing in healthy relationships can contribute significantly to your overall happiness.
Explore Mindfulness: Incorporate mindfulness practices into your daily routine to promote present-moment awareness and reduce stress.
Engage in Hobbies: Dedicate time to activities that bring you joy and a sense of accomplishment, whether it's reading, art, or exploring new interests.
Consider Your Support Needs
Lastly, as you envision the year ahead, consider the supports you want and need. Whether it's seeking therapy, joining a support group, or having open conversations with trusted individuals, recognizing and vocalizing your support needs is a crucial aspect of prioritizing your mental health. It’s always ok to ask for help!
Takeaways
New Year's Resolutions don't have to be a source of stress or self-criticism. Let’s shift the narrative and embrace a more compassionate approach to personal growth. Setting realistic goals aligned with your values and well-being, and prioritizing peace, healing, and joy can lead to a more fulfilling and balanced year.
If you find yourself needing support in prioritizing yourself and making positive changes in the coming year, I invite you to schedule a consultation. Together, we can explore your unique journey and create a plan that fosters growth and well-being. Your path to personal growth starts with acknowledging your needs and taking the first step.
Looking to connect with a therapist who understands the importance of setting realistic New Year’s Resolutions?
Take your first step towards embracing a more compassionate approach to the year ahead.
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About the author
Amanda Buduris is a licensed psychologist providing virtual therapy services in Oregon and Washington. She is trained in multiple modalities of trauma-focused healing to best support clients who are looking to feel better faster.
