Rebuilding Trust After Trauma
Trust and intimacy are fundamental to healthy relationships, but for individuals with Complex PTSD (C-PTSD), these elements can be incredibly difficult to navigate. Trauma—especially when it occurs over a prolonged period—can rewire the brain’s ability to trust, making vulnerability in relationships feel overwhelming or even dangerous. However, healing is possible. With understanding, patience, and the right therapeutic support, individuals with C-PTSD can rebuild trust and foster intimacy in their relationships.
What Is Complex PTSD?
Complex PTSD is a form of post-traumatic stress disorder that arises from prolonged, repeated trauma, often occurring in childhood or in situations where escape was not possible. Unlike PTSD, which is typically triggered by a single traumatic event, C-PTSD develops over time due to ongoing emotional, physical, or psychological harm.
Causes of Complex PTSD
Several situations can lead to C-PTSD, including:
Childhood abuse and neglect
Domestic violence
Long-term emotional abuse or manipulation
Human trafficking or captivity
Repeated exposure to war or conflict
Institutional or systemic oppression and discrimination
The impact of these experiences extends far beyond the traumatic events themselves, shaping the way individuals perceive safety, relationships, and self-worth.
Symptoms of Complex PTSD
Individuals with C-PTSD often experience:
Emotional dysregulation: Difficulty managing emotions, leading to mood swings, anger, or emotional numbness.
Hypervigilance: A heightened sense of danger, causing individuals to be constantly on edge.
Dissociation: Feeling disconnected from oneself or reality, especially in stressful situations.
Negative self-perception: Persistent feelings of shame, guilt, or worthlessness.
Difficulty with relationships: Struggles with trust, intimacy, and maintaining connections with others.
These symptoms can significantly impact personal relationships, making it challenging to feel safe, loved, or connected to a partner.
Why Trust and Intimacy Are Difficult in C-PTSD Relationships
Trauma fundamentally changes how the brain perceives safety and threat. For those with C-PTSD, intimacy—whether emotional or physical—can trigger deep-seated fears of abandonment, betrayal, or harm. Trust issues may arise due to:
Fear of vulnerability: Being open with a partner can feel too risky, leading to emotional walls or avoidance.
Hyper-independence: A survival mechanism that makes relying on others feel unsafe.
Attachment wounds: Past experiences of betrayal or neglect can make it difficult to believe that love and safety are possible.
Emotional triggers: A partner’s actions—often unintentionally—can evoke strong emotional reactions tied to past trauma.
How Trust and Intimacy Issues Manifest
A partner withdrawing emotionally to avoid potential hurt.
Difficulty expressing needs due to fear of rejection.
Anxiety around physical touch or affection.
Feeling suffocated in close relationships, leading to push-pull dynamics.
Constant fear that the relationship will end in abandonment or betrayal.
These struggles can create cycles of misunderstanding and pain, making it crucial for both partners to recognize and address them together.
Strategies for Rebuilding Trust and Fostering Intimacy
While healing takes time, there are practical steps that can help individuals with C-PTSD rebuild trust in relationships:
1. Communicate Openly and Honestly
Creating a safe space for honest conversations about fears, triggers, and needs is essential. Partners should approach these discussions with patience and validation, rather than judgment.
2. Practice Self-Regulation Techniques
Managing emotional reactions through grounding exercises, deep breathing, or mindfulness can help reduce the intensity of trauma responses.
3. Establish Healthy Boundaries
Boundaries help create a sense of safety in relationships. Clearly defining personal limits allows both partners to feel secure and respected.
4. Engage in Safe Physical and Emotional Connection
For those who struggle with physical intimacy, taking small, intentional steps—such as holding hands or sharing moments of eye contact—can help build trust over time.
5. Use Trauma-Informed Therapy Techniques
Healing from C-PTSD requires more than just willpower. Therapies like Brainspotting, EMDR, and Internal Family Systems (IFS) offer effective ways to process trauma and develop healthier relational patterns.
The Benefits of Trauma Therapy and Couples Therapy
Therapy plays a crucial role in rebuilding trust and intimacy.
EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing): Helps individuals reprocess traumatic memories, reducing their emotional intensity and impact on relationships.
Brainspotting: A brain-based therapy that targets deep-seated trauma, allowing individuals to release stored emotional pain and increase emotional regulation.
Internal Family Systems (IFS): Helps individuals understand and integrate different “parts” of themselves, reducing inner conflict and fostering self-compassion.
Couples Therapy: Provides a structured space for partners to work through trust issues, learn healthy communication strategies, and build a more secure relationship.
If you’re looking for faster, deeper healing, you might benefit from a therapy intensive! Therapy intensives are available for both individuals and couples. Learn more here.
Breaking the Cycle of Trauma in Relationships
Healing from C-PTSD doesn’t just benefit the individual—it also prevents trauma from impacting future generations.
By addressing past wounds, learning new ways of connecting, and fostering emotional safety, individuals can break the cycle of trauma and build fulfilling, secure relationships.
Takeaways
Trust and intimacy can be difficult for those with Complex PTSD, but healing is possible. C-PTSD, often rooted in prolonged trauma, affects emotional regulation, safety, and connection in relationships. Rebuilding trust requires self-awareness, boundaries, open communication, and trauma-focused therapies like Brainspotting, EMDR, and IFS. Couples therapy can also strengthen understanding and emotional security. With the right support, it’s possible to create fulfilling, connected relationships.
Looking to connect with a trauma therapist who can help you heal from C-PTSD and rebuild trust and intimacy in your relationships?
Take your first step towards deeper, healthier connections in your life.
(Oregon & Washington residents only)
About the author
Amanda Buduris is a licensed psychologist providing virtual Brainspotting sessions in Oregon and Washington. In-person services are available for therapy intensives only. She is trained in multiple modalities of trauma-focused healing to best support clients who are looking to feel better faster.
